(As taken from my LinkedIn post)
As a foreigner or leader living abroad, I often think about my sense of belonging and identity. Some of us are here on short term assignments for a few years as the more traditional ‘expat’ and are certain of going back home. Some of us came on short term assignments and stayed and we often wonder where we fit in. Or at least I used to.
The Reality
A leader living abroad enjoys an incredible experience which can be full of glitz and excitement. You also learn some life skills that many do not have the opportunity to even think about. How we adapt, open our minds and become challenged by everything is exactly what any good coach would advise for developing leaders. We need neuroscience coaching reflections alongside real-life experiences to truly grow.
But it’s also hard and has ups and downs that your friends and family back home can’t relate to. It’s usually around 6 to 8 months after arriving, once the ‘honeymoon’ period is over, that you realise that everything is different. You liaise with headquarters, often located in your original country, and it’s hard to explain why things can’t be done in the same way. You make mistakes because behaviours and norms are different and it’s easy to be misinterpreted by team members.
What Kind of ‘Expat’ or Leader Living Abroad are you?
There are those who recreate their home country and live in that bubble. There are those who ignore all foreigners. And then there are those who try to integrate and appreciate both their new country as well as people from the larger ‘expat’ community.
Clearly it’s good to develop a support system amongst foreigners because after all, we face the same issues. However, it’s also such an enriching and fulfilling experience to get to know the local culture. There is so much to learn. Of course, it does take a bit of a leap of faith and a huge willingness to question what you believe in and to be open to alternatives.
Are You Ready to be Challenged?
1- Purpose
A foreigner or leader living abroad needs a strong sense of purpose to get through the downs. However, I know many who feel lost and alone for various reasons, including being purpose-less.
There’s a great Japanese tool called “Ikagai” which essentially means “reason for being”. The tool helps you discover your passion, mission, profession and vocation and how this all combines into your purpose. There are various books and worksheets to help you work through this. Essentially though, the key questions are what do you love, what are you good at, what can you be paid for i.e. what value can you offer and what does the world need?
It’s worth doing the work and avoid drifting through life before it’s too late. As many claim, notably the psychologist Viktor Frankl, finding your purpose gets you one step closer to happiness.
2- Compassion
Whilst being compassionate might sound ‘soft’, it’s actually about giving people and your teams what they need, including tough feedback but in an empathic way. As stated by a 2018 HBR article, 91% of leaders say that compassion is very important. The article also refers to a study showing that these leaders have “stronger and more engaged” teams.
As a leader living abroad, you have an incredible opportunity to develop compassion. Be curious about the similarities and the differences and engage with diverse people. We often cling onto our worldview shaped by our own culture and upbringing. The faster we learn to let that go and be open to others’ views then the more quickly we connect and paradoxically, find similarities. Keep cultivating this mindset and you’ll find yourself starting to gain a greater sense of belonging.
3- Resilience
Resilience is not just about bouncing back from adversity. It’s also about being able to manage your emotions without getting overwhelmed. It’s about being comfortable with change and leveraging crises to question the status quo and develop new norms.
Those of us who live abroad have an incredible opportunity to develop resilience because when you change countries, your worldview and sense of identity are questioned. This can very easily lead to loss of self-esteem and unhealthy coping habits.
However, you can build your resilience by communicating and reaching out to different people, being aware of your moods and triggers, gaining perspective, taking healthy time out and generally looking for positive opportunities in crises. What better training ground than in a new culture with different people and different ways of thinking? Your team will also thank you for it.
How Does all this Make You a Stronger Leader?
By being compassionate and resilient you essentially shift your thinking to becoming more inclusive. You become more aware of others’ needs and you also gain perspective. This allows you to see many more viewpoints and therefore possible solutions and opportunities that others can’t necessarily see or think of.
You’ll become more strategic and you’ll also have engaged teams who will be more loyal and more willing to go the extra mile for you. And with your strong sense of purpose, crises won’t phase you so much and others will believe in you.
So, as a leader living abroad get out there, connect with different people and explore your new habitat. What new ways of thinking will you adopt? How will you use this to become a stronger and more authentic leader? What new perspectives can you see? And enjoy!